Friendship-Integrity ~ Early Morning Thoughts

Last night (2.9) I went out to dinner with someone I had never met, other than through email and a couple of phone calls. Within the correspondence, it seemed very logical and highly likely this person could be a very good friend.

Henry David Thoreau once said, “The language of friendship is not words but meanings.”

Whenever we talked by mail or phone, the flow of conversation seemed easy, natural – and he was a very easy person to share with (which is difficult sometimes for me to do). We had a delightful dinner in a restaurant that was a very good lesson to me on not judging a book by its cover. As long as I have lived here, I have passed by this place many, many times. It appears to be a very small unprepossessing establishment perhaps of the Tex-Mex variety of food. What a surprise to discover that it actually is a much larger restaurant than it appears – with a beautiful garden/patio area to eat in.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:
“The glory of friendship is not in the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is in the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him.”

As much as I enjoy people, I have to admit being somewhat uneasy in situations that have no definitive outcome…especially one -on-one. But I am glad to add also that this person is the type that can put you completely at ease. We laughed, shared, simply chatted and I felt, enjoyed each others company. I have others friends that can be somewhat wearing after awhile as their needs often surpass what I am able to offer. And yet – that is also to me what friendship is all about. I like to be able to believe in people and trust them.

Do u know the relation between two eyes? They blink together,They move together, They cry together, They see things together and They sleep together.But Still They never See Each Other that’s Friendship”.And about true frds, True frnd understands wen u say I FORGET. Waits 4ever wen u say JUST A MIN. Stays with u wen u say LEAVE ME ALONE & Opens the heart even b4 u knock.
Hope u get the meaning of Friendship.
–anonymous (
I have left this quote exactly as it was written-it expresses what I felt so well)

I also ran across a very scholarly article about Socrates who valued friendship “more than gold” and Aristotle who felt that friendship was necessary for life. According to Aristotle, true friends always wish the best for each other. These friends take time, patience and commitment.

Plato felt that true friends belong to each other, and that sense of belonging is what distinguishes friendship from all other relationships.

Interestingly they both believed we have to learn how to be friends – we don’t automatically know what it takes to be a good friend – and it can be life-time project. And here was a surprise-I found out that felt there was a connection between being good at friendship and a life committed to justice.

Plato says that “it is impossible for those who do an injustice and those who suffer it to be friends.”

Does this mean there is a connection between friendship, virtue and integrity? They had a line of reasoning that suggested exactly that. If wicked people habitually do wicked things, their friendships are…inherently unstable and shallow based on pleasure or utility.

Those who are good, on the other hand, orient their lives around virtue, and they continue to do good things they are prime candidates for friendship.

If indeed that is the case, then I want to hang onto childlike enthusiasm, friendship and integrity all the more.

more on this later

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