I’ll be the first to admit it … I’ve needed some good laughs over the last couple of days. And along with a couple of dear friends sending me some good solid belly laughs, I also found some “true” stories. I put the true in quotations, not to say I question their accuracy – but rather to accent the word. After all, truth is almost always stranger than fiction. (A famous writer stated the difference as: Fiction has to make sense.
Guns have been banned in Britain for years, so now swords are getting to be a menace. “Imitation” samurai swords have been identified as a weapon of choice in various attacks, so the Home Office has announced it wants to ban the weapons by the end of the year as part of a “wider crackdown” on knives and other bladed weapons. “Samurai sword crime is low in volume but high in profile,” a Home Office spokesman said. “It is already illegal to have a samurai sword in a public place but I want to restrict the number of dangerous weapons in circulation.” Those caught with swords, whether used in an assault or not, would face up to six months in jail and a 5,000-pound(US$9,800) fine. (London Telegraph) …The ultimate conclusion: half of all Brits will be sentenced to break rocks into sand so the other half can’t throw them.
Lawyer Balthazar Napoleon de Bourbon, 48, of Bhopal, India, has always loved France, and even gave his children French names. And, he has recently learned, he may be first in line as king of France. His lineage has been traced to Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette, and apparently also the Bourbon king of Spain. He is willing to take a DNA test to confirm the link. (London Guardian) …You know, this “outsourcing” thing is really getting out of hand
Students from rival campus organizations at the Dawood Engineering College in Karachi, Pakistan, had fistfights and threw furniture at each other in a January confrontation over which group should get credit for putting up posters urging students not to fight on campus…sounds as if reading class had gotten a little behind.
Two Bulgarian nationals were arrested in San Marcos, Texas, in January after being caught allegedly robbing coin-change machines at an apartment complex, and police subsequently found apartment guides for several cities in their van, along with a half-ton of quarters ($18,700)…Now there’s a commercial in the making!!
And last, but not least – from California Driver education Exam (where else and what else?)
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can’t see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, “Guns don’t kill people. I do.”
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too drunk to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I’d probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave “hello” if he/she is cute.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Oh how funny! Thanks for brightening my day.