Through The Eyes Of … ~ An Extensive Time-Waster

There is an old(er) saying: At closing time in a bar – everyone is gorgeous. Ah, if that were only true…Much like the lie on a t-shirt I want that says: “drink ’till I’m cute.”

Leave to science to work out exactly how this transformation works!!!!!

Would I make this up????

Researchers at Manchester University worked out a formula to calculate how “beer goggles” affect your vision. Apparently there are more factors than just the open bar from 10-12. Additional factors include the level of light, your own eyesight, the room’s smokiness, as well as the distance between you and your future regret.

Here’s the formula, and just think how cool you’ll look with your calculator at happy hour. (I dare you to bring a slide rule as well!!! )

  • An = number of units of alcohol consumed
  • S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)
  • L = luminance of ‘person of interest’ (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)
  • Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)
  • d = distance from ‘person of interest’ (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

And what does it all mean?
(Oh and since it uses meters – It will need to be translated!).

A formula rating of less than one means no effect.

Between one and 50 the person you would normally find unattractive appears less “visually offensive”. (Visually offensive? There’s a t-shirt in the making!!)

Non-appealing people become suddenly attractive between 51 and 100.

At more than 100, someone not considered attractive looks like a supermodel.

Let me know those scores — Inquiring Minds Want To Know!!!

But I Only Had ~ How Many?

Additional warnings on beer and alcohol labels
The FDA is considering additional warnings
on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an complete idiot.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can’t remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and/or knees.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really big guy named Chuck.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

tipsy photograph of “tipsy” game http://www.pocketgear.com