I really needed a silly time today. For the most part, the day went fairly well … OK, the day went. It started with 1/2 of the couple moving into the apartment today (my day off!) told me that the move would start at 8:00am in the morning. Yawning and complaining, I awoke at 7:00am to be somewhat ready for their arrival.
At 8:00am I received a phone call from the OTHER 1/2 of the couple saying it wasn’t going to happen until 10:00am. Not a problem, back to bed I went. THEN I received a phone call from the first 1/2 of the couple saying it was now going to be around 11:00am before it happened. I didn’t bother to get out of bed.
I finally emerged from what some people call a beauty sleep (didn’t work in my case!) and started my day. Finally at 3:00pm the first load arrived of the move. That was when disaster seemed to strike. The electricity was off ~ OK, not a problem. I would just go back and flip the switches. OK~ now a problem.
Last night my maintenance man decided to get in the middle of an argument that a man and woman were having out on the street. Unfortunately, it appears that neither of them appreciated his becoming involved and he ended up being smacked down onto the pavement. Of course, there was the requisite head gash and being slightly banged up. The head gash made him look as if he had been run over and being banged up made him slightly irritable and not feel very well.
While the police were not too terribly interested in going after the arguing couple, the ambulance folk were very interested in taking my maintenance man on a ride to the hospital. I didn’t argue ~ too much.
Unfortunately, the maintenance man had the electrical box keys attached to his belt. OK ~ no problem, the man and the keys will be back today. OK ~ now a problem, he evidently was kept overnight for observation and testing. I still have not heard from him nor from anyone that knows him.
Now, I have two halves of this couple (who may or may NOT communicate with each other) moving into an apartment that has no electricity. Thank heavens for petty cash. I’m going to offer them either dinner and breakfast in the morning or a Motel 6 room for the night. They can take their choice ~ but they are NOT allowed to call me with the decision. I can only imagine how many phone calls that would take!!!
I’m also hopeful that I can get down to the Comcast office this week, and get my Internet hooked back up. The problem isn’t Comcast or me. The person who lived in this apartment before me left without paying his bill (and it is a him as I know who it is!). I have to go down and prove that I am not this nefarious bill skipping …uh… person. At that point, I will no longer be using the office computer and will be able to post pictures on the blog once more!!
And now, for the silly part of my Sunday:
One of the most incredible marketing campaigns involved Marlboro cigarettes. On the side of each pack were “miles” and people collected those miles for prizes from the prize catalogue. This helped Marlboro stay ahead of the “pack” which advertising that cigarettes could do became quite limited.
Here are some little known items from the various years catalogues:
1. 1,000,000 miles: John Wayne’s bronzed lungs
2. 80,000 miles: The “Cougher”: “cough”– Lights on… “cough”-“cough”– lights off!
3. 80,000 miles: Marlboro Man ballet shoes and tutu
4. 100 miles: Bumper sticker saying, “You can have my cigarette when you pry it from my feeble, trembling hands.
5. 500,000 miles and a $10,000 contribution: The Senator of your choice
6. 25,000 miles: (collectors item) Jackie Gleason’s “Wheezin’ to the Oldies” workout video
7. 45,000 miles: Complete framed collection of Surgeon General’s warning labels
I drove past a Hollywood Video Store this week, and they were eliminating all the VHS tapes from the store at $1.99 each…at least that’s what the sign outside said. As the world moves more to CD’s and DVD’s … I got to thinking about that wonderful (now becoming a collectors item) invention the floppie disk that seemed so revolutionary at the time. I was sure I hadn’t lost it ~ and today I dug around in a couple of the “don’t throw this away, I might need it someday” boxes I have in the closet, and there it was.
Proper Care of Floppies
1. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
2. Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week. Microscopic metal particles can be removed by waving a powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any stubborn metallic shavings can be removed with scouring powder and soap. When waxing diskettes, make sure application is even. This will allow the diskettes to spin faster, resulting in better access time.
3. Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit in the drive. “Big” diskettes may be folded and used in “little” disk drives.
4. Never insert a disk into the drive upside down. The data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the intricate mechanics of the drive.
5. Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through the Xerox machine. If your data is going to need to be backed up, simply insert two diskettes together into the drive. Whenever you update a document, the data will be recorded on both diskettes.
6. Diskettes should not be inserted into or removed from the drive while the red light is flashing. Doing so could result in smeared or possibly unreadable text. Occasionally the red light continues to flash in what is known as a “hung” or “hooked” state. If your system is “hooking” you, you will probably need to insert a few coins before being allowed to access the disk drive.
7. If your diskette is full and you need more storage space, remove the disk from the drive and shake vigorously for two minutes. This will pack the data enough (Data Compression) to allow for more storage. Be sure to cover all the openings with scotch tape to prevent loss of data.
8. Data access time can be greatly improved by cutting more holes in the diskette jacket. This will provide more simultaneous access points to the disk.
9. Diskettes can be used as coasters for beverage glasses, provided they have been properly waxed beforehand. Be sure to wipe the diskettes dry before inserting into drive (see item #2 above.)
10. Never use scissors and glue to manually edit documents. The data stored is much too small to be seen with the naked eye, and you may end up with data from some other document stuck in the middle of your document. Razor blades and scotch tape may be used, provided the user is equipped with an electron microscope.
11. Periodically spray diskettes with insecticide to prevent system bugs from spreading.
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
The cost of living hasn’t affected its popularity.
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
–English Professor, Ohio University
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
Q: How many minimalists does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Diplomacy is the art of saying “nice doggy” until you can find a rock.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. –Abraham Maslow