When You Least Expect It (1) ~ Early Morning Thoughts

This post has had a number of titles over the last three days. The Luggage Tag Says – (4), Surprised With Joy or even Little Did I Knowin other words, this has been a very difficult post to put into words (in a good way) – let alone title. Over a month ago, I introduced a person I called Toby (not his name or initial). It was in the post titled Surprised But Not By Joy. I had talked about a deep rooted cynicism I discovered concerning people and was working on getting weeded out of my personal garden.

A several weeks ago, we met Toby again at the same place – and I had a delightful time chatting and getting to know him even better. It was then I realized that D&D were having some serious problems with this. It was that night that D decided to drop the comment to me that I “had more patience that he did what ‘those’ kind of people.” He had put Toby in a very specific category and therefore was not to be trusted or even conversed with beyond minor pleasantries. And there is a HUGE difference between being a cynic and being cautious.

A cynic is a man who,
when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
–H. L. Mencken (1880 – 1956)

Toby and I met for coffee the next day – and embarked on a series of conversations/meetings that were honest, truthful and enlightening.

The Luggage Tag Says – (4)

I had started the series on removing false luggage tags on life’s journey and thought it was almost complete for the time being, when I discovered this tag hidden behind the bright red yarn ball on the handle of my luggage so I can spot it in the midst of others at the airport. I had talked about the false luggage tag of expecting every answer to be according to my expectations.

THIS luggage tag,however, is the tag of expecting every answer to be according to OTHER people’s expectations – sometimes at the expense of my own. And for a “fixer” personality such as I have been dealing with, that can be a real trap. The fixer tends to pour a LOT of personal oil over other people’s troubled waters, to the point their car can run out of oil – and burn out. This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t listen and evaluate others people’s opinions when necessary. It does mean that I can’t base my personal life expectations on the expectations of other people. Before it comes up, I’m not talking about a job where obviously the expectations are going to be based on other people. After all, a job – as a very interesting consultant once said – requires that you rent your behavior for a period of time, based on the expectations of others.

Of course, D&D were merely (in their minds) trying to be protective, attentive, etc.. Based on further comments and conversations that were had – they also had a mindset that was not going to change (easily), and were expecting me to follow in that. They have been unable to share in the fact that within the last week I have been:

Surprised With Joy –
(apologies or thank you to C. S. Lewis)

Toby and I went for lunch and a movie. Trying to find the small Greek restaurant that I knew exactly where it was – proved that I didn’t know where it was. We eventually found it – after quite a search on foot. When we sat down, I was struck by the fact we both had been laughing about the situation and enjoying our surroundings. We even took time to stop at an enormous waterfall fountain that is a Houston landmark. We took a great deal of time over lunch and put off the movie until the next day. On my way home I was still chuckling over the excursion to the wilds of “getting lost” in the general vicinity, and was also struck by the ease of the conversation and sharing that occurred.

We met for an early light dinner the next day, and as we were going into the theater – I turned to Toby asked, “Are we dating?” I was horrified that sentence had come out of my mouth. There had been nothing on either side that obviously indicated such a thought was correct. But, being the terminal romantic that I am – (remember, we’re the ones that pat the sandwich after we make them)- my life is colored by many small things as well as the huge brick walls that I occasionally run headlong into.

What is a small thing? As I’ve mentioned before, I have very bad knees and am working toward getting them operated on and repaired. I was struck by the fact that at curbs – without being asked – Toby would pause and wait for me to step down offering his shoulder as balance. A little thing. We visited a couple of friends today, and they had one of those lovely, delightful overstuffed LOW leather couches that even people with great legs have some trouble getting up from. Without a word, or even a glance – there was an arm right in my peripheral vision to hold onto and get up. A little thing. “Oh well,” someone might say – “He’s just being polite, kind or helpful.” To which I reply: “And your point?” The fact is – I’ve never had any of my friends over the last several years do that.

February 17th I posted about who are you looking for not what are you looking for – but who. I included some short descriptions of incidents that in my mind helped me with the “who.”

The dramatist in me realizes that I have not given Toby’s answer to my question along with several other questions people might have. This is, however, a good time for an intermission.
–More Tomorrow

Be A Grape – Not A Raisin ~ Early Morning Thoughts

Yesterday as I was around various groups of people (at/on the bus -stores-waiting for a friend to get out of work) I was struck by the various attitudes and behaviors. I realized how much people seemed beat down, giving up and incredibly unhappy with themselves and the world around them.

It’s not hard to understand. A simple look at the news that besieges us almost on a minute by minute basis is far from anything that allows time to digest, process and deal with in a way which creates a safe haven to allow life and joy to work through all that is out there.

And much of it seems to create even more divisions than are already there. An NBA star announces he’s gay, another NBA star says he hates gays; someone announces their candidacy for public office, others immediately announce why that person is unfit for public office. Hundreds get trapped on airplanes frozen to runways for hours. And it seems so much that should be harmless suddenly becomes deadly – peanut butter, who would have thought? And fear can grip like a viper and spread its deadly poison.

When I had given up all hope and had lost the meaning of even living…I too felt that nothing matter, there was nothing to go on for and certainly nothing that I could/would be able to do.

In making the journey back from the edge of nothingness, I have my return to childlike enthusiasm, hope, joy and personal responsibility.

I have more on this topic, but let me state as I have in previous posts – I have no intention of advocating a “Pollyanna” outlook on life (I have always wanted to slap her when either reading the book, or choking my way through the movie). Nor do I advocate the “Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better” school of thought advocated by Emil Coue. Mine is not a perfect journey, but a personal journey.

For now, I have gathered some quotes that reflect directly on what has made differences in my life – and those around.

So many people are using up their precious moments of life striving for a bigger house, newer car, college for the kids, and many additional outer expressions of the so-called necessities of life. How many moms and dads are overwhelmed just trying to keep up with their notions of what is called for to be a successful family? Being too busy trying to manage a career and a family and not having fun and joy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Some people born as ripe, plump grapes have become dried up old prunes. Why be a raisin when you can be filled with juice?
–Stan Smith

Nothing is lost upon a man who is bent upon growth; nothing wasted on one who is always preparing for … life by keeping eyes, mind and heart open to nature, men, books, experience … and what he gathers serves him at unexpected moments in unforeseen ways.
–unknown

The work of an individual still remains the spark that moves mankind forward…
–Igor Sikorsky

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked; it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
–Franz Kafka

He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every thought is allied with power and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. Thought allied fearlessly to purpose becomes creative force. Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart. Who looks outside dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
–Carl Jung

That which we are, we are, and if we are ever to be any better, now is the time to begin.
–Lord Alfred Tennyson

When you have to make a choice, and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.
–William James

Don’t be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You cannot cross a chasm in two small jumps.
–Lloyd George

Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
–Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

First keep the peace within yourself, then you can bring peace to others.
–Thomas a Kempis

And remember, we all stumble, every one of us .This is why it is good to go hand in hand.
–E. K. Brough

Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.
–Carl Jung


Often, people try to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things or more money in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.

The way it actually works is the reverse. You must find out who you really are, then do what you need to do in order to have what you want.”
–Margaret Young

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out the window, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
–Mark Twain

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
–Elbert Hubbard

Great souls have wills; feeble ones have only wishes.
–Chinese Proverb

The whole purpose of the universe is unerringly aimed at one thing – you.
–Walt Whitman

Knowing others is wisdom; knowing the self is enlightenment.
–Tao Te Ching

Everyone stumbles over the truth from time to time, but most people pick themselves up and hurry off as though nothing ever happened.
–Sir Winston Churchill

He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses.
–Horace

Computers are useless. they can only give you answers.
–Pablo Picasso

Be not afraid of changing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.
–Chinese Proverb

A life spent in making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
–George Bernard Shaw

Only those who risk going too far can know how far they can go.
–Unknown

The freedom to fail is vital if you are going to succeed.
–Micheal Korda

Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
–Abraham Lincoln

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life away in fruitless efforts.
–Samuel Johnson

If you want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month — get married.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.
–Chinese proverb

Digging Deeper Into Integrity ~ Early Morning Thoughts

As I’ve thought about integrity and honesty. I realized that I have to order what I consider to be my core values – and it’s no accident that I should list integrity first (by the way, that’s where the Air Force Academy places it). Integrity for me, is where all my other values will fall or stand. Without integrity my reasons for doing anything can justifiably be questioned – and doubted. Without integrity my personal quest of excellence also comes under a cloud.

Some time ago, I read that integrity is the willingness to do what’s right even when no one is looking. Without someone around, I may feel it acceptable to do whatever I want, how I want – without any concern about consequence. Of course, there still are consequences for actions – but the result might not be all that public, at first. But – as some major leaders have discovered, failure to have integrity in private can be exposed in public. But, to hold onto my values – no matter what the situation, is integrity in action.

But this also isn’t a full definition of integrity. If I turn again to the dictionary: “uncompromising adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.” As I’ve said before, integrity defined this way is controlling. It implies following standards set by only by others. This also leads to the acrimonious discussions of almost any subject currently being debated. Even between people who should be somewhat in agreement, the arguments become almost self-serving and divisive. It implies that whatever I hold absolute, everyone else should. And without going into detail, we call can think of serious incidents, decisions and problems that have resulted in situations that never should have happened. Or, shouldn’t have happened the way they did if people were working in TRUE integrity.

An addition to the definition could be “the state of being whole and your true self”. Which could mean – standing against the “crowd” to hold onto what I believe to be right. So, going back to the comment above – integrity is not only doing what’s right when no one is looking, but doing what’s right when other people are watching.

My reactions have to be based on what is true, not fantasy, and I have to make commitments based on my vision or purpose. In short, my life has to be aligned with the big picture. Being responsible is handling whatever comes along and making adjustments so problems don’t repeat themselves. Responsibility and integrity is not about blame.

Far more difficult than knowing what is right is doing what is right. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it is always right.
–George S. May (founder of the May Company)

This quote gets at the real meaning of integrity. When doing right thing starts to be in conflict with the easy way, or is at “odds” with “the way we’ve always done it,” is when our integrity is confronted. My integrity is really called upon when doing the “right thing” makes me subject to criticism, ridicule, or second guessing.

But it struck me, that this kind of integrity is extremely personal. I do not have to require MY integrity of someone else – only that they follow their integrity.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Core values on paper are nice, but without putting those values into action they are nothing more than words. Dr. King’s quote highlights the purpose of having core values, which is to use those values to shape my decisions and actions. And because of the “big picture” I avoid the my-way-only type of reaction or decisions.

more to come on this


I’m grateful for a friend explaining
the Air Force Academy code

Early Morning Thoughts ~ Amore (part 2)

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and being the terminal romantic that I am, (the symptom of terminal romanticism: we pat the sandwiches after we make them) I’ve been thinking about love. A number of years ago Art Linkletter had a section of his TV program called “Kids Say The Darndest Things.” Of course, the joy of that program was his ability to get children to admit to things their parents were usually horrified to hear. One little girl I remember announced her Mother’s pregnancy on national television – something her Mother had not told ANYONE, including the Father!

However, children have insights that we adults (who have lost our childlike enthusiasm for life) tend to miss.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, “What does love mean?”
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

What do you think?

“When my grandmother got arthritis,
she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time,
even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.”
–Rebecca- age 8

“When someone loves you, the way
they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is
safe in their mouth.”
–Billy – age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume
and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other.”
–Karl – age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat
and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them
give you any of theirs.”
–Chrissy – age 6

“Love is what makes you smile
when you’re tired.”
–Terri – age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes
coffee for my daddy and she takes
a sip before giving it to him, to
make sure the taste is OK.”
–Danny – age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time.
Then when you get tired of kissing,
you still want to be together and
you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss”
–Emily – age 8

“Love is what’s in the room
with you
at Christmas
if you stop opening
presents and listen.”
–Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

“If you want to learn to love better,
you should start with a friend
who you hate,”
–Nikka – age 6
(we need a few million more
Nikka’s on this planet)

“Love is when you tell a guy you
like his shirt,
then he wears it everyday.”
–Noelle – age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and
a little old man who are still friends
even after they know each other so well.”
–Tommy – age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on
a stage and I was scared. I looked
at all the people watching me and
saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that.
I wasn’t scared anymore.”
–Cindy – age 8

“My mommy loves me more
than anybody .
You don’t see anyone else kissing
me to sleep at night.”
–Clare – age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy
the best piece of chicken.”
–Elaine-age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy
smelly and sweaty and still says
he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.”
–Chris – age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks
your face even after you left him
alone all day.”
–Mary Ann – age 4

“When you love somebody, your
eyelashes go up and down and
little stars come out of you.”
(what an image)
–Karen – age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’
unless you mean it.
But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.
People forget.”
–Jessica – age 8

And the final one —
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia
supposedly talked about a contest
he was asked to judge –
The purpose of the contest was to
find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child
whose next door neighbor was
an elderly gentleman who had
recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little
boy went into the old gentleman’s yard,
climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had
said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
“Nothing, I just helped him cry”

more on amore later

Early Morning Thoughts ~ Poison to Medicine

Remember you’ve got a choice.
When you feel you can’t handle something,
you can either choose to feel miserable and helpless,
or maybe put your life in someone else’s hands to sort out – if they can be bothered.
Or you can decide to take charge ,
take full responsibility for whatever is happening,
even if none of it seems to be your fault,
and decide to turn poison into medicine.

– Geoff from the book, “The Buddha, Geoff and Me”
The spiritual journey does not consist in arriving at a new destination
where a person gains what he did not have
or becomes what he is not.
It consists in the dissipation of one’s own ignorance concerning one’s self and life
and the gradual growth of that understanding which begins the spiritual awakening.
The finding of God is a coming to one’s self
.
– Aldous Huxley

Sometimes the randomness of thoughts link together and drive the consciousness into places and patterns I have no intention of letting it go. I had a delightful phone call from a dear friend this morning, and several of the topics that we/he gently touched on took hold and roiled around all day. This was also brought to fruition by a chat at the bus stop with someone I know is having a very tough time – with no support system (inner or without) to help.
While this dealing with inner issues certainly is not a bad thing – it did manage to consume time, energy and spirit. As I approached the evening time, I realized I was fatigued. A mental kind of fatigue that at first bothered me – but then I realized it was a fatigue from actually having accomplished some mental/spiritual things.

So, that led to the consideration that over these nights of ideas is the concept of truth, self and love . Is what happened preventing me from being my true self, the self I am intended to be. Was the progression in this life going to change me in such a way that I will not be the me I know now and that the me I know now will not be the me that other people know.

That’s when I once again took a long hard look at a relationship that almost destroyed me. This time on paper – and to place it in public.

When I first met ZZ, he was – or seemed to be – a deep seeker. He also was delightful, charming, funny and in many was in need of support. We became friends. As the time went on I thought the friendship was deepening into a deep friendship. He was just getting over a very deep and prolonged long term relationship and looking, or so I thought, for support. I found out later that his relationship had been predicated on a lie – an absolute lie he created. He wanted me to just be a good deep friend. And I was willing to do/be just that. I didn’t know about the previous relationship being built on a lie, and when he maneuvered me into being something I was not – and this is hard to admit – I went along with it.

When I made that conscious decision, I set myself of a path of absolute destruction. I had allowed the lie to come in, to begin to grow and to make itself quite at home. For a number of years, this lie was as a stage director consuming more and more time for the stage. As I wrote the other night on fences and boundaries – I also believed that the friendship could possibly deepen even further – even though I was so far off ZZ’s radar I wasn’t even a blip on the screen. I began to tear down boundaries and fences and to lay myself open. As I also said the other night, in a relationship this is something that has to be done – but in the wrong situation can be very dangerous.

Now, understand this relationship between ZZ and I was never physical. But it took me quite some time to realize/admit that it was a relationship non-the-less. But there were several things wrong on my part – 1) Who/what I was to him was based on a lie of his choosing and my own accommodation of that lie, 2) I was trying to be what I was not and 3) I was giving up myself piece by piece – belief by belief. I also 4) was hiding my own lies about feelings, beliefs, dreams and hopes. And, of course, when that happens, the well can and will run dry at some point.

Mine ran so dry that I ended up by giving up on everything including life. However, from that lower depths came a wondrous journey … that has me where I am today. To quote what I posted at the top: The spiritual journey does not consist in arriving at a new destination where a person gains what he did not have or becomes what he is not.

Chapter two of the story or as a famous radio commentator/author might say: Tomorrow the rest of the story!

Tulip from Triumph Tulip by Steven N.Meyers (www.allposters.com)

Early Morning Thoughts ~ Amore and such

First was an e-mail from a friend asking come pretty pointed questions. This was followed by a “Hope this isn’t a bad time” phone call. This is a friend of mine that has known me for a number of years…through the good times and the bad times. One of the reasons I enjoy this person is their continual journey toward living in truth. One of the topics we talked about was “love.” Not the “do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again” kind of love, but the one that becomes part of the “fire in the bones” and where the person is “in your nostrils.” However:

Every love affair has it’s lifetime . . . that as long as it has a start it has a finish. Some relationships last to the end of partners lifetime, some die soon after they started.

As we all know, not all loves work out as we want them to. Having had two long term relationships not work out as I intended, I’ve had a lot about them to have to deal with. And I would love to report that “moving on” was no difficulty what-so-ever. As I talk to people, and read other blogs I am struck by how many of us are dealing with what was, and trying to look into what will be. This mix gets stirred up by with what is. And “there be truth.”

I Loved You

I loved you; even now I may confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain;
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tongue tied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I loved you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.
Alexander Pushkin

As I said, having had two long term relationship not work out, I had begun to take the blame upon myself, and only on myself. My life had become filled with “what if” and “what about” or “if only.” As I had said before, the well had run dry, and the “child inside was crying, and I didn’t know how to comfort him.”

Upward

I’ve watched in the azure the eagle’s proud wing,
His soaring majestic, and feather-
some fling–
Careening in liberty higher and higher–
Like genius unfolding a quenchless desire.

Would a tear dim his eye, or pinion lose power
To gaze on the lark in her emerald bower?
When higher he soareth to compass his rest,
What vision so bright as the dream in his breast!

God’s eye is upon him. He penciled his path
Whose omniscient notice the frail fledgling hath.
Though lightnings be lurid and earthquakes may shock,
He rides on the whirlwind or rests on the rock.

My course, like the eagle’s, oh, still be it high,
Celestial the breezes that waft o’er its sky!
God’s eye is upon me–I am not alone
When onward and upward and heavenward borne.
Mary Baker Eddy

But still in very many cases lost love isn’t anyone’s fault. It is just the way things go. We should never stop believing that next time the feeling will be real and will finally last to the very end. We have no limit of times that we can fall in love and so although it’s sad to lose love, each time we do we should try to look at it as on the chance to find a new better one.

more to come on tonight’s thoughts
“Come along with me – the best is yet to be!”

Early Morning Thoughts ~ Truth or ? (part 1)

The first day of the New Year has almost ended … and mine had several interesting twists. This came about during a long conversation. There were several points that are going to be worth some strong investigation on my part. And, of course, I will post my journey as it goes along (most of it anyway). There was a discussion about truth that started my thoughts about this post. I have always maintained the necessity for truth … in people, in government, in life. Sadly, that is one attribute that seems to be sadly lacking in some. I know some who regard truth as this overriding idea that somehow floats along and may or may not provide some kind of order. I have others who regard it as a convenience of the moment. I regard truth as something that operates not only without as a principle, but something that has to be within as a core value to make our lives real, powerful and aligned with one another.

“In our time, what is at issue is the very nature of man, the image we have of his limits and possibilities as a man. History is not yet done with its exploration of the limits and meanings of ‘human nature’.”
C. Wright Mills

“A man of clear ideas errs grievously if he imagines that whatever is seen confusedly does not exist; it belongs to him, when he meets with such a thing, to dispel the midst, and fix the outlines of the vague form which is looming through it.”
J.S. Mill

“Truth is a shining goddess, always veiled, always distant, never wholly approachable, but worthy of all the devotion of which the human spirit is capable.”
Bertrand Russell

“But whoever is a genuine follower of Truth, keeps his eye steady upon his guide, indifferent whither he is led, provided that she is the leader.”
Edmund Burke
A Vindication of Natural Society

“…truth is much more than a means to expose the malevolent. It is the great creative force of civilization. For truth is knowledge; and a civilized man is one who, in Hobbes’ words,has a “perseverance of delight in the continual and indefatigable generation of knowledge.”

Hobbes also writes: “Joy, arising from imagination of a man’s own power and ability, is that exaltation of mind called glorying.” And so it is; for the pursuit of truth is our civilization’s glory, and the joy we obtain from it is the nearest we shall approach to happiness, at least on this side of the grave. If we are steadfast in this aim, we need not fear the enemies of society.”

“The essence of civilization is the orderly quest for truth, the rational perception of reality and all its facets, and the adaptation of man’s behaviour to its laws. So long as we follow the path of reason we shall not move far from the lighted circle of civilization.

Its enemies invariably lie among those who, for whatever motive, deny, distort, minimize, exaggerate or poison the truth, and who falsify the processes of reason. At all times civilization has its enemies, though they are constantly changing their guise and their weapons.

The great defensive art is to detect and unmask them before the damage they inflict becomes fatal. ‘Hell.’ wrote Thomas Hobbes, ‘is truth seen too late.’ Survival is falsehood detected in time.

“Civilization… is the rational pursuit of truth within a framework of order. The discovery of truth, of course, is part of this ordering process, the way by which man located himself in the universe. This is a very long, complicated and cumulative process.

Man needs to orientate himself in time, by discovering and perfecting chronology; in space, by acquiring geographical and astronomical knowledge; in nature, by discovering its laws and using them to master his environment.

He is also engaged in a continuous effort of moral and social orientation, reflected in his attempts to improve his designs for civil government, for legal and ethical codes, and his image of what a just society should be. There is, likewise, a process of moral ordering, in which man seeks to discover his worth in relation to other men, and to the potentialities of his surroundings.

Human beings need to know where they stand in all these matters, for such knowledge is an essential element in their security, and… their happiness…”
Paul Johnson
“Enemies of Society”

1) orb painting by Antonio Puri http://www.arteutile.net
3) Harlequin – Mask of Truth http://www.valmortha.com