F.Y.I. ~ The Return ~ Early Evening Thoughts

I’m sorry that I have been “missing in action” for these last months. I would like to say upfront, everything is fine, I’m fine and what is now going on around me is fine as well!!
It was just important that I take some time off and solidify what’s been happening with me, and to get to the point that I actually wanted to write something that wasn’t in my journal.

So, even tho’ I have NOT been:

And I certainly have not been under a storm of any kind:

I am glad to say that in the next few days I shall be back, and be back to stay!!!

And For Your Viewing Pleasure ~ Evening Thoughts

It was a day full of frantic activity, a doctor appointment, back to work and more frantic activity around me. And to make the evening complete, I had to leave work much later than normal and missed the best connection to the bus I needed. As I’m trekking my way to the train ~ I get a phone call from my new (as in brand new) maintenance man who is having trouble drilling a lock.

Back to the complex … and yes, there definitely was a problem. Forty minutes later, back to the train to catch the bus home. (I was NOT singing three buses and a train!) There was yet another phone call from maintenance newbie – and while I’m getting someone to help him out…the cell phone battery runs out and the phone shuts completely down. The wonders of electronica – all my phone numbers and contacts were in the phone. So, I was without a way to call … even if I’d borrowed a phone.

It was a good time to just sit…wait…watch…and put things into perspective.

As to the Doctor visit – she is working this from an interesting perspective ~ rather than trying to start with what it could be, she is starting with what the problem isn’t. So, several serious issues were eliminated today – being honest: TB and such are not the problem. The illness is not behaving as bronchitis should, however, she is strongly leaning toward that and/or a viral outbreak…and it treating it as such. I may not have any internal bugs left when she’s done! And hopefully, there will be no major side effects from the medications. I didn’t care for the two shots I got – and certainly have no desire for any more!!

The visit today was a relief to me. It’s amazing how the mind can add worry on top of worry, without any grounds. Of course, there’s always those around who want to add their two cents into the mix ~ mostly with dire stories of someone who died from just what I’ve had going on – or ended up in a terrible state and have I been tested for (insert name of Disease de Jour here)? I know they were only trying to offer comfort and care.

The comments and emails I received were more in line with the community I enjoy. My dear friend EB sent me a delightful card today that made my heart sing this morning.

I could have played “hide and seek” and said nothing, but “sardines” is much more fun and allows people to share in all facets of life.

There is more to share – but I’m very tired, and the medicine is “kicking my butt.”

–more later

Just When I Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Water ~ Early Evening Thoughts

When I last posted ~ I really thought my illness was fading away. That, unfortunately, turned out to be quite wrong. There are some serious concerns about what it is ~ and as a result ~ I have a doctors appointment in the morning. She wants to run a couple of tests and see if she can pin down what exactly is wrong.

To say I have mixed feelings about what is going on would be an understatement. On the one had I want to know what’s going on ~ on the other hand I’m not sure I do.

When I performed in the delightful adaptation of Robert Fulghum’s series of writings titled “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” we did a section called “Hide and Seek.” He had written brilliantly about the wonderful game – ending, of course, with “Olley Olley Oxen – All In Free! He follows that with a description of “Sardines.”

“Better than hide-and-seek, I like the game called Sardines. In Sardines the person who is IT goes and hides, and everybody goes looking for him. When you find him, you get in with him and hide there with him. Pretty soon everybody is hiding together, all stacked in a small space like puppies in a pile. And pretty soon somebody giggles and somebody laughs and everybody gets found.” (emphasis mine)
–Robert Fulghum:
All I Really Need to Know, I Learned In Kindergarten.

As he usually does, he brought the story home with the story about a man who had developed cancer, and told no one. It was discovered by everyone he knew ~ including family ~ upon his death. His idea was to protect them from worry, etc. The end result was far from what he would have wanted. His family and friends felt cheated, hurt and confused that he couldn’t or wouldn’t trust them enough to be supportive and caring during that time.

And that leads to personal community…and the need for it.

I’m going to close this with a story about Jimmy Durante. He was asked to be part of a show for World War II veterans. In his response to the organizers, he explained that he could participate, but he would be able to do only a short monologue, and would then have to leave for another event. The organizers were happy to have im at all, and agreed.

When he was on stage, however, something happened. He finished his monologue and stayed. Ten minutes became twenty which became thirty. The applause and laughter grew louder and louder. Finally, he thanked his audience and took his final bow. Backstage, someone mentioned that they thought he had to leave early. Durante said, “I did have to go, but take a look, here’s the reason I stayed in the front row.”

There were two men one who had lost his right arm, and the other his left. They were sitting in such a way they were able to clap and cheer … clapping loudly and proudly.