A new arrival joined my house collection this evening … hence the title of this post (**you will have to read through the post for the definition**)
I was given these sayings today and wanted to share them with you ~
Things Dogs Must Try To Remember . . .
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
when I’m lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cat’s food, before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces
of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roil on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
“litter box crunchies” are not food.
I will not eat any more socks and then
redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail in not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up by
sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones,
or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
when it is raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and
dance all over the backyard with it.
(**SOMWPP ~ silly older man with pampered pooch**)
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer’s hand when
he reaches in for Dad’s driver’s license and car registration.
—more tomorrow
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